« Spreading The Word | Main | Moving to the Winter Compound »
October 14, 2005
Soon To Be Follower "KoralLeart" Asks...
"What do shinra do?"
An excellent (if grammatically challenged) question. What DO Shinra do?
In a nutshell, we love you, and we support you. Unlike other cults, religions, or your parents, we won't tell you what to believe, who to worship, or that you can't have the keys to the car until after you empty the garbage.
We don't judge - to all us beliefs are equal, just as all currencies are exchangable. Give us your money, and we will give you whatever else it is that you need*.
* Offer only includes things that don't cost anything, and aren't very hard. Offer void where prohibited.
Posted by The Cult Leader at October 14, 2005 02:46 PM
Comments
I think the real key to shinra obtaining money is a reskin of their moveable type weblog. At the moment the ordinary "straight out the box" version does nothing to enlighten me spiritually.
Posted by: rob james at October 19, 2005 08:20 AM
Unfortunately, the spirits that I am in contact with are unable to interact with physical objects, such as mice and keyboards. The alien races, on the other hand laugh at the idea that we must use pathetic digital technology in order to communicate, and even their most ancient records make no mention of HTML or CSS. I would rather not even get into the problems with getting the interdimensional beings to help out - suffice to say that if you thought VRML looked bad in 3D, wait till you see it in 19 1/2D.
If only one of my followers had such skills.
Posted by: Cult Leader at October 19, 2005 08:27 AM
Cult Leader would you like me to reskin to match the rest of the site ?
I will do this only if you refund me the donation which I haven't donated.
Posted by: rob james at October 24, 2005 08:57 AM
I would appreciate that follower Rob. What would you need in order to accomplish this feat? I am told (by the irritating, insectoid voice of Fiz'Clik'bra, the Locust God) that I could set up you as an author in the system with the ability to change templates. Would that suffice?
Consider your donation pre-emptively returned. We should continue this conversation in email - you may contact me at cult@shinra.com to exchange any further information, and to provide an address to which you membership kit can be sent, along with a load of laundry I need done. Let it be written that no starch shall be used on the robes, and that I shall know if you merely Febreze everything and send it back unwashed.
Posted by: Cult Leader at October 24, 2005 10:53 AM
Leader, I am getting rather bored of reading the same thing, please write some more sermons.
Posted by: rob james at November 2, 2005 11:55 AM
Cult Leader,
Do I still retain my all-access pass even though the compound is in flux? Is my lifetime membership in the cult still valid? I still believe in not doing other people's laundry!;)
Posted by: Chaney Wiese at November 9, 2005 01:51 PM
Hussian ur gay and dont have a fucking clue ur full of shit it isnt a religion at all ur being fucked about by a 15yr old
Posted by: god at December 6, 2005 10:42 AM