Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Is this a joke?
A: No, it's a cult.

Q: Really, is this a real religion?
A: No, as I already said it's a cult.

Q: What is the basis for this cult?
A: Am I god? An incarnation of god? The mouthpiece of a six-thousand year old Egyptian spirit? The herald for our alien saviors? Yes, to all of the above and more.

Q: Where will the cult be living?
A: Currently Full Members live with the Cult Leader at The Compound. The Compound is a holy site/alien landing strip/indian burial ground located somewhere in the state of Colorado . Non-Full Members can live anywhere they like, though we recommend somewhere with a breathable atmosphere.

Q: What is the dress code?
A: For Full Members dress code is seasonal, for comfort. In warm weather, think Logan 's Run, in cold think Eskimo. Members that don't live at The Compound can dress however they like, but are encouraged to send in photos of what they are or are not wearing so that the Cult Leader can review them.

Q: Is this a vegetarian cult? I eat meat.
A: This is not a vegetarian cult. All of the current members are meat eaters to some degree, and I have it on excellent authority that the higher powers approve of this. In fact, at least one of the alien races that I am in contact with laughed at the suggestion, saying 'Oh, yeah, right. What's next, no Farm Planets full of tasty sentients?!?!'

Q: Is this a death cult?
A: This is *not* a death cult. Dead followers don't make donations.

Q: Is this a sex cult?
A: This is *not* a sex cult. Oh...you're cute? Then it is.

Q: Forget about the food, dude. Tell me about the sex!!
A: First, let me point out that's not a question. Second, it's not about the sex. The sex is just a tool. Like a jackhammer - relentlessly pounding away at the faithful. It's not an end unto itself. It just breaks down the old; pounding, pounding, pounding away at the cracked, stained, bubblegum-ridden concrete of your previous life, removing it and making way for the clean, freshly poured concrete of your new life, upon which my initials will be writ large.

Q: Is Earth really only a farm planet for our alien masters?
A: Maybe. Can you prove that it's not, food-animal?

Q: If I join this cult, will I be expected to drink Kool-Aid?
A: No, we have a full bar. You can use it as a mixer, if you must.